At the Gay Bar.

I recently went bar-hopping with my mother.
Somehow during the night we ended up dancing at a gay bar.

Now, when I dance at bars, I get really into it. And by really into it, I mean I dance like the biggest moron on the planet.
For some reason, drunk people just think I am the most amazing dancer in the universe.


Now, keep in mind, that I've also had quite a few PBRs throughout the evening and anyone who drinks this gloriously cheap beer should know, that it gives you some pretty intense stinky ass bombs.


So, this very petite little gay boy decides to start dancing around me.



After a while we start inching closer and the next thing I know, he is on his knees dancing with HIS FACE SHOVED IN MY CROTCH!

I was so drunk at that point that I didn't even give a shit.
Except that by now my ass was billowing out noxious fart winds and filling the entire dance floor with a beautiful aroma...

He didn't seem to mind. He just kept right on dancing with his nose right up in my vagina.

Afterwards, my mother and I were in a gas station parking lot screeching at four in the morning and cramming square mini-burgers into our mouths...
She said "Man, that dance floor kinda smelled kinda bad."
And I drunkenly scream-whispered back "YEAH, BECAUSE I WAS RIPPING ASS ALL OVER THE DAMN DANCE FLOOR!"