The Alaskan Rainforest.

A long while ago, Max and I decided to delve into the depths of mescaline.

We drank a lovely tea concoction of the stuff, which was pretty much like drinking a hot cup of boogers.
After consumption, we decided to venture out into the parking lot of my apartment building.
We gazed at the lovliness of the day.
The birds were singing. The grass was chirping.

It was only a while before there was a gigantic swarm of crane flies, which we thought were trying to get in our mouths and lay eggs inside of our bellies.

This resulted in us running and screaming through the parking lot in broad daylight.

We decided to go back inside so as not to frighten our very timid Asian neighbors any more than we already had.

Quickly becoming bored, we decided to paint pictures.
And quickly becoming bored of this, we decided to get naked and paint our entire bodies with a multitude of colorful paint.

By the time we were finished with painting and then clogging my shower with 800 gallons of acrylic paint, we decided it was time to go to the store for cigarettes. At three o'clock in the morning.

As we were driving the entire one mile to the gas station, Max kept asking me "Are we driving through mud?"
I wasn't really sure.

As we pulled up to the gas station, I decided we needed a game plan. I looked over at Max and said "Don't even open your mouth. Just don't say anything."

As soon as we step out the car and strange man starts yelling at us about our beautifully colored hairs.
So Max replies "We are SO NOT FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW!"
The man decides to follow us into the gas station picking at our hair and screaming.

After what seems like an hour of this man poking and prodding us, we arrive at the counter.
The man just stares at us, to which Max replies:
"I THOUGHT YOUR NAMETAG SAID COCAINE!"

I tried to shush her as I ordered my cigarettes.
As I am completing the transaction, I hear "THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!!!"

I look over and witness Max staring into a basket of fruit...

I grab her and run out of the store while she is screaming "I NEED CIGARETTES!"

I get in the car and tell her we have to go somewhere else because I am pretty sure the gas station attendant thinks we are criminally insane.

So, we then try to locate another gas station. When we finally find one, I tell Max she must go in this time by herself because I can't deal with it.

She wanders aimlessly through the gas station as I watch her through the windows. She somehow gets side tracked by the Slushie machine and decides she must have one....
But not before staring at and touching the condensation on the machine first...
For about ten minutes.

We spent the rest of the night naked on the couch staring into each other's eyes and believing we were in the middle of a war zone.